Monday, March 29, 2010

Chicken Scratch from 2000-04

Today I found a few scribbles of chicken scratch that was on a note pad from many "workshops" and classes from the past. At least once in your life you had to experience an instructor or professor who spoke in flatline tone
During the days of sitting in a perfectly square classroom located downtown- no windows
I would need multiple cups of Sparky&Clarks to keep me awake. And....I would write as my cohorts doodled.

A snippet of what I can read of my own chicken scratch........

*Climb K2 *Help to end Dog Fighting *Help save the planet
*Read more on global warming *Put an end to puppy mills *Eat healthier (?)

*Find a way to end racism *Spend more time with my mother

*Attend more Yankee games *Move before 2004 *Drink less coffee

Read the following again: *Where the Sidewalk Ends *Falling Leaves *Where the Heart Is
*It's a Wonderful Life *Zen for Dummies *A Boy Called It

Places to return to: Holocaust museum - Strawberry Fields - Naples Florida (probably to find those cute dolphins & seniors in their speedos) - Road Trips with Gracie - Paradise Island - Vegas - China (adopt more babies) - Tibetan Temple ceremony

So what did I eventually accomplish? By now, you know I'm not living in New York- and I haven't returned to swim with the Naples dolphins.....I did however return to watch Yankee games.....and I took road trips.....but I didn't return to the Tibetan temple.
I read all the books again. After learning that my mother was diagnosed with Parkinson disease, I wanted to try and spend quality time with her- it was getting difficult- watching my mother who was very independent, healthy and strong willed take a major step into the unknown. Her mental awareness was beginning to take it's own journey. I've asked myself since if her mental health was affected by this disease before the physical signs surfaced. She wasn't herself. A woman I wasn't able to speak to more less like at moments. My father took on the roll as nurse. not always a good thing This situation was not healthy for either one of them.
I researched Parkinsons and Lupus. Later to find she was in the beginning stages of Parkinson related dementia. Even with this knowledge I found myself getting so angry with her.....selfishness on my sleeve again. What and why did this have to happen to my mother- the person I needed to speak with- I had topics that were important to me- topics I wanted/needed to speak with her about and get off my chest. And here I sat speaking to this woman- my mother- listening to her ask me....what's your name?

Life Lesson: Never let a day go by without saying I love you Mom.


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