I'm going to attempt to write my latest experience in the industry of child care.
I'll apologize now if any of my words offend mothers that just so happen to stumble upon my post...or those of my faithful readers who are mothers, I do hope you are not offended!
During a workshop this week the topic was: RAISING OUR FUTURE.
Most of the time I will admit I'm bored restless with workshops. If they are not hands on, or if the instructor does not hold my interest, I find my head spinning in thoughts of neverever land.
However this topic led into a heated conversation about todays parenting. We parents, us gals, yo' daddy....what ever your title- heads were on the chopping block!
Why? During the short 3 1/2 months that our Academy has been servicing military, professional, political and stay at home parents....we have found some and I say this loosely-some parents have shown a side of themselves that frankly, make it awkward for teachers to communicate with. Honestly, my only barrier is my lack of Russian and horrible French.
However, now that I am becoming familiar with other classrooms Apple Cheeks for one I find parents quoting certain things that have my head spinning with the other teachers.
Now, let's be honest here.....we have all at one time or another asked ourselves where these children came from.....and why did we have so many? I did today - ha ha
But I for one know why {we} had our children. I wanted to extend my family. I wanted to be a mommy. I wanted to nurture and raise loving caring children- in a loving and caring environment.
So as our instructor opened up the window of opportunity for us to chat about what our experiences have been with parents- one teacher spoke of her experience(s) with parents who talk about their children as if they were a fashionable accessory. She informed us how parents are so addicted to facebook and tweeting about how their children are tiring and if they are lucky to get through the next few years, they may consider having another child. ?? I wasn't really shocked then by our instructors reaction. She claims that in a DC poll there has been a high percent of young married couples having children in order to add to the appearance and social club status of their lifestyles. I laughed so loud that the instructor looked over at me....I apologized but stated that my oldest daughter is an import and my other two kiddo's are American made. She laughed.... but quickly reminded me that the parents I come in counter with now are not looking at life the same way we have 10-20 years ago. Okay, is this instructor trying to say I'M OLD! No.... later found out she is a Christian and was merely pointing out that family values are gone. Sitting at the table having conversation is gone. Selfishness is in.
Self centeredness is chic. Asking your children to sit at the table to eat is taboo...allowing them to run around the house eating is cool. Why? Because they are an accessory. They are beautiful, adorable, long eye lashed prima donna's in their Gucci jackets and Janie & Jack jeans.
This is sad to me. As the week continued I tried to listen to my parents. To survey them quietly.
Yes, it's in my classroom too. The 4 year old with a cell phone. The 4 year old with a flat screen TV in his room....or make that in the bathroom so he can watch Spider Man over and over as he takes a bubble bath. The little 4 year old who had a birthday party at Cookology which could be mistaken for a bridal shower! I wasn't invited to this one...but I do hope to make the next just to photograph for your enjoyment!
After our session ended....I spoke with my co-teacher about her experiences. She truly believes that we are in the land of technology and it is leading to the lack of parenting. I'm not sure that she is 100% accurate....but I do stop to think about how many times I watch a parent arrive at the Academy to drop off or pick up their accessory..... the phone is plugged into their ear....fingers typing 60 words per minute texting..... and all their little one wants to do is show them the awesome painting they created today. This can be heard..." oh, great...more trash for me to deal with".
I'm not sure about you....but my kids do not make great accessories for me. China Doll cramps my style with her teenage "tude" and Freckle Boy's unique physique makes him look as if we have been adding steroids to his bowl of Cheerios. Apple Cheeks well....let's just say she is a very cute 4 year old and looks even cuter in her Hello Kitty accessories..... the only accessory I truly need to wear when I prance out and about is my wedding ring. And with that maybe a cute new pair of Tom's.
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I need to post something less negative next time!
And for those of you who commented and are praying for Gracie LeeAnn is her real name thank you from the bottom of our hearts! You ladies (and Jeff) are wonderful blogging friends!
"For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Happy week to you all!
Peace&Love,
Lis
Well this old mom is seeing this too and so worried about how my grandchildren are going to be raised. This was really evident when my little one had a broken leg and we went on a field trip with his KDO class and no one thought to help me with him, because they were on their phones...they didn't even notice the joy their children were having...it took all this 49 year old mom could do to not yell at all of them...YOU ARE MISSING IT!!!
ReplyDeleteToo sad...now it only makes me stop and think...am I doing any of this also...accessory...NO, because I would be overloaded with accessories...I mean give me a break, six! I guess we are really behind, our 15 year old still doesn't have a phone! LOL
Thanks for the heads up...so sad and something to pray about.
This is deep Lis.
ReplyDeleteAnd so sad.
My children were never accessories to me and my husband, so I know what you mean.
Hang in there... say a little prayer for your little ones - I guess that's the best thing we can do. And surely, you will be a good model for them for they will see the difference in the way you deal with them.
Much love
Lidj
We are missing out on teaching our children the really deep and important truths, truths that will hopefully stay with them even when they rebel against it. Truths such as unconditional love for them, that God loves them, that He is the only true way to joy and contentment, truths that help them learn how to treat their neighbor ...
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post. I need to reflect on my own actions, seeing if I ever treat my children as accessories. I hope not - it makes me sad to think that I would. But I can't rule it out.
Oh, and that quote by RWE is priceless! Thanks for sharing it!
As a school teacher and counselor, I have to agree with you. I have found in the younger generation people don't consider having kids as "parenting" - it's "Oh, I'm pregnant from a guy I was with..." "This will be fun!" I am working with elementary kids, and surprised at the kids who have families with genograms that would baffle your mind, and these are kids from middle class America. Kids who are caught in custody battles that say nothing to a child except "you are a pawn." Kids whose parents use drugs recreationally and see nothing wrong with it. Parents who watch R rated movies with their first grader or play Halo with a seven year old
ReplyDeleteIt's politically incorrect to say this is not healthy for kids!
While the kids I work with may be in middletown America in public school, and the designer label may not be quite like what it is in your school, the logic or lack of logic behind parenting is the same. Kids are good when it works for the parents, but when parents are ready to move on to whatever or who ever meets their needs at the time, kids are left in the wake.
Aren't these new parent part of the "me" generation? Who were indulging them as children?
We are seeing more and more mental health and emotional needs for kids at a young age. We are seeing inattention and tracking problems. Kids are unmotivated to turn in work in 1st grade.
And teachers are blamed for poor performance.
Are people unwilling to say, "The emperor has no clothes on?
May the Lord not tarry for the sake of the children.
I must say to each of you- this is an epidemic. When I first wrote and posted this I wasn't sure how it sounded....I talk better than I write- I need to use my hands as I express my words!
ReplyDeleteThis has become a passion of mine.... I feel each day when I walk in my class room I see innocent children {not all but most of them} become unmotivated as you mentioned Brenda. And it is so sad that the R ratings mean nothing to parents. I guess my bar was raised higher due to the economic environment the Academy sits on.... I'm no longer working with families who have been displaced or returned from jail- however, I worry that some of my kids are going home with the Nanny as their parents enjoy the social club events {week nights too} in the district. I've been educated. And as much as I love my area for raising my own children..... I see so much now that I am back in the work world. I will think of you Janette, Lidj, Rambler Girl and Brenda as I give the warmth and love these little kiddo's need each day to fill their emotional cups. Thank you ladies!!
Wow...wouldn't it be cool if we could create a "Mother's Club"? Is that possible from all the locations? : )
xoxo