Tuesday, February 23, 2010

So, the 80's are finally coming to a close

I'm not sure what happened with Lizzies inherited mess, but she and Alex shortly broke off their engagement. And yet another year has gone by.
I've decided to stick out my teaching job at KC1025. I was asked to assist the high profile manager (Mrs. C. of Florida- go figure) of these expensive preschools to -recreate 1025's new Two Year Old program. Flattered, maybe....but truthfully I wanted out of that two year old program. I felt as if my education and hands on knowledge was being drained
on munchkins- as cute as they were- and I was having fun- I needed a "time out" from being used as a human tissue and at least have a break in my day because little Johnny decided to take a chunk out of my arm as I placed myself between little Bobby and Johnny's own teeth.
Once Mrs. C. came to 1025 and we started chatting about how wonderful the program would be with this and that....I could see her mouth moving- but my mind was on something totally different. My life again. I had a bad habit of not being able to say "no" to certain people-especially nice people. And as much as Mrs. C. took me back to sitting in the front pew of Mass listening to Monsignor T. - I just couldn't say no. I'll do it....I'll stay here with these cute munchkins. After all, I never got a tattoo in NYC like "L"...but these bite marks made by little Johnny began to resemble a daisy- I love daises-finally had my tattoo.
It's a year later and thank GOODNESS little Johnny graduated to the 3&4 year old program.
My arm needed a break. After all I had a new body part added during the new season of our Two Year Old program. Little "K". She would hang off of my neck throughout the day....yes, I had a teachers aide, but "K" had determination- she wanted her "Miss Wisa". During these years of hanging out with munchkins - I unlike some of my coworkers never had baby fever.
Probably because I wasn't married and I was too young! Remember I had a life to live!
One day a new kid on the block arrived at KC1025. It was an adult kid. A new teacher. Someone I thought I knew from ol' YSH. She was goofy, loud, funny and very pretty, but had the most annoying walk! This newbie would walk down the halls scraping her black heals on the vinyl floor. Annoying because her heals lost that tiny black tip- and the nails were exposed!
Good golly girl, take your first paycheck and go buy yourself a new pair of pumps!
We became soul sisters in less than a year. LeeAnn and Lisa were Lucy & Ethel (I always reminded her I was Lucy). We were Thelma and Louise without the car jump. We eventually became: Hazel&Gracie.
We were chinese food on Monday nights and Fridays lunch was at Conrads. We were long phone conversations about her marriage and my singleness. The only major difference between us - she had a little boy. Drew. We built a solid friendship that nothing could tear us apart. During the weekends LeeAnn of course would spend quality time with her husband and her baby boy. I would spend quality time with my single friends either protesting for animal rights or dancing the night away. (yeah, I was a PeTA head) Sundays were saved for my parents. My dog Bella and I would drive over to their house for a delicious pasta dinner and laughter or craziness with my family. During all this time I started reading more on Buddhism. I liked the idea of reincarnation. I feared death. I liked the idea of coming back as something else. Perhaps a lioness or lady bug? I began my travels following His Holiness the Dali Lama. Reading TriCyle magazine and dipping my feet into meditation. I remember my mother once telling me I always had a passion for the Asian culture. Perhaps my move would now be to China.
Time is flying past, almost way too fast. LeeAnn finds herself filing for divorce. She is picking up the pieces- I'm right there for LeeAnn and Drew. (What's God thinking....LeeAnn didn't deserve this!) ********************
I began dating someone I was introduced to by an acquaintance- a year later I am married. In a nutshell....this marriage was on shaky ground from the beginning. We had similar interest- travel, music,hiking- he liked my dog Bella ( everyone did) but we never had a foundation. After being told I was unable to conceive, I just assumed the only "children" I would ever raise were those with fur and four legs. Adoption? I wouldn't adopt from the US, due to the risk of losing a baby after all that bonding time. If I was going to become a mommy- then I was going to be selfish by not allowing anyone to come back and claim what is mine! After investigating adoption agencies, we had an interview and began the adoption procedure for a baby girl- from China. The time frame for travel was extended due to political issues and then of course China decided to bomb Taiwan. I was anxious, annoyed, excited, happy and falling in love with a baby I have never even seen. I dreamed about her- I spoke to her through the stars at night- and I never, ever wanted anything more in my life than to be her mommy! The day her dossier came in the mail I couldn't see through my tears.....she was beautiful! This was my daughter! It's really happening! Two months later- we are on a plane to bring Fu Xiao Xu, this beautiful China Doll home.
China Doll is home. I'm working at YC school district through LIU #12. I have summers off to enjoy some fun with my baby girl and find time to perhaps take psychology classes. Time is passing by- not flying. My marriage is crumbling. I find myself filing for divorce.
During this time, my support came in great strengths. And once again- I'm blaming God. Why am I going through such pain? What did I do to deserve this? Boy, I sure am glad I collected trinkets and incense and books on Buddhism while traveling in China! I'm so glad I am not a believer.....in this so called God that I hear others claim is so loving and kind.
Buddha will get me through this......I like to be smiling....and Buddha always has a smile on his face.

***********9/11. Looking back at that- my messy life wasn't so bad.....people were losing loved ones....our country just experienced something horrible. *******
As I mentioned during my divorce, the support from friends and family couldn't have been stronger. If anything I felt guilty about during this time, was that I was losing a wonderful Mother-in-law. Sharon was also my friend. What will this new life be like without her? No more Disney trips with the only other person-besides myself- that was a 100% true to Walt, a Disney Fanatic. The beach? Tea Rooms? Chats.
I felt confident that my China Doll and I were going to be just fine adapting to our new life.
We were two peas in a pod. As for LeeAnn/Gracie, she and Drew moved to Virginia Beach and later remarried. She and Kevin were living in Maryland working on an extended family. I made no plans to move to Maryland, but I did need to find a new job. LIU #12 was about to make changes, and I for one needed a better income for my new life. I was able to grab the only position available with Bell Socialization. I became one of the homeless shelters caseworkers. My office was literally a closet. My co-worker and I got along pretty well. My boss was nice. But he liked to walk around the shelter quoting bible verses. I would just smile at him....holding my breath that he doesn't ask me to quote mine. *********************
I was settling in at the shelter. China Doll and I were settling in our new apartment with our dog and cat. Perfect little family. I picked up where I left off with friends- I was told I am back to my old self. Happy-go-lucky. And I am feeling comfortable here in this little apartment village. Nice neighbors - dog friendly community {{important}} decent school district- a private pool - close to my family. But, I really missed my Gracie. Something wonderful- I still had Sharon- just a different title. {{smiling}}

My sister lived in a small studio apartment just over the hill from where China Doll and I were living. (my sister was now a widow) We did a lot together. China Doll was spending a lot of time with her Aunt Debbie. During China Dolls scheduled visits with her father, my sister and I would go out for dinner, dancing, socializing with new and old friends.
I called that particular time in my life Plugging In. I became plugged into a scene that on the outside I was enjoying. On the inside I'm thinking- this really isn't making me happy.

Once more my mind begins to travel.... get ready China Doll. Mommy has a plan.

Life Lesson: Eggs....what eggs?


1 comment:

  1. This is so interesting! I keep checking in every day to see if you've writen the next chapter yet - but don't feel pressure to rush the posts!