Scrap Book

China Doll
Apple Cheeks
Birthday Girl!!
China Doll & September Moon
China Doll & Freckle Boy *I'm sure he isn't thrilled with this name....but I can't help myself!

Goin' Green/Goin' Christian

A decision to "Go Green" is not a hard one to make for me. I've always been cautious of my actions towards the environment. I have worn t-shirts shouting phrases for protection not only the air we breath.... but the animals who share our planet. I've protested for cleaner air and water- putting poachers in their place- put your cigarette butt in it's place.

Going Green for my household can be tricky with 2 teens and 1 pre-schooler. Especially when we do not have recycling- road side. We must drive recycles to a specific place.

Going Green also means continuously reminding ourselves and our children.

Using less water. Using less electricity. Using less gas. We have a Hybrid vehicle....and we are now sharing it! Talk about a test of marriage! {see future post}

Regardless on your view of the world- whether you go green, sage or mint- one thing you can count on is that you'll never receive a black mark for going that route. You may get eyes rolled at you- but I doubt you'll receive the black mark.

Bottom line: It's a lifestyle.

Our decision to "Go Christian" was somewhat of a challenge. for me

And how does one go about "going christian?" ???

If you have read other post I have written- I mention what hypocrites of the christian faith have done to damage my views. And now, I simply do not want to come across as if I were, was,is a hypocrite.......I want to come across as if I, well, recycled God.

Like recycling, living a christian life is challenging. It's a lifestyle. Not a "when you feel like it". Yet, becoming a christian by being a "do gooder" does not get your foot into heavens gate.

and I'll apologize ~just incase I say something damaging to my readers

Sadly, Christianity has a black mark.

For me, this journey has been the best journey I have taken. And like any trip we prep ourselves for- there are a few areas where you just can't perfectly prepare for.

Detours- road blocks-blurred vision-flat tire.

For myself, I needed to dispose of the thought that you can only be a true christian if you know the Bible from front to back- can recite scripture and understand it's meaning!

I am thankful to know christians who truly walk the walk..... I also know "christians" that constantly remind me that they are christians....they have always and forever been on the stairway to heaven. Or were they referring to the song? Don't know. Doesn't matter.

Following Christ for me is something I must remind myself of every moment- of every waking day. It's not the acts of kindness I'll do for my once employer the homeless shelter......it's not about me picking up someone's trash and it's certainly not about me advertising that I am now a christian each time I pass you on the street. What I must make clear is that I am a believer.

I am a follower who struggles everyday with sinful thoughts. the glare I give the woman in line at Wal-Mart or the racist who lives in my community

I struggle with prayer. I struggle with forgiveness. I struggle with those simple things that may come to others so easily. I'm not ashamed to admit those flaws I have as this newly recycled follower. My recycling of faith has been tested and proved to remain sturdy. I'll break or fold that's for sure....but I know where to take a nasty mess now. It will no longer linger for days....the mess is cleaned up and forgiven. No matter how big of a mess we make of our lives.

This new recycled {woman} mess has not changed so I"m told much. I'm still the happy-go-lucky chatter box, that will open my arms out to hug you and share a laugh- even if I do not know you.

Come on now....don't go crossing the street when you see me coming!

Bottom Line: It's a lifestyle.

Life Lesson: Recycling comes in all areas of our lives. If you do not recycle...give it some thought.

Peace&recycledLove,

Lis

Now I lay me down to sleep....Part 2

After reading my e-mail, comments and chatting with a friend....I decided while I had this "down time" - today I would post part 2 of my Fears. {nighty-night prayer included}

The other night while writing in my prayer journal.....and getting side tracked is not uncommon for me......I began to have a conversation, well, with myself! It went something like this:

Self to Self: "you know...you are truly strange....why is it that you can't let go?"

Self to Me: "let go of what???"

Self to Self: "the fact that your children are not possessions....they are people....they are not

yours to re-create.....mold......wrap in plastic or wads of toilet paper.....they are

human beings in need of love.... guidance......encouragement....."

Self to Me: "I can't help it"

Self to Self: "you're impossible!"

Self to Me: "that's exactly what Sister Mary Kathryn said in 5th grade"

{Today} I read the most encouraging mail...... I spoke to a dear friend with wise words.....

I read yet another e-mail that brought happy tears and yet sadness. All of these words whether they were on paper, computer or over the phone inspired me. They gave me insight. They placed my level of Fear on the lower step of the ladder.

I will not lie to you and say that fear will not creep up on me. Especially when in todays society most anything will creep up on us.

I will not purchase armor and insist China Doll wear it while driving with Freckle Boy as he is wrapped in bubble wrap. I will not stick Apple Cheeks in a snow globe, however she would love that! giggling

I realized that my children are "free agents". They are not mine to keep. They are my children.

They are my pride. They give me joy. most of the time : )

These 3 beautiful humans. Their age(s) make them children/teens. But they are no doubt humans with feelings, emotions and needs. Not bubble wrap. No flight wings clipped beyond to ever fly free.

I find myself telling a dear friend not to live vicariously through her children.....live your own life! Yet, as I do not live through my children......I'm stealing a part of their lives away.

Independence. Trust. And this is what Self said to Me. Give them this. They want it so badly. They deserve it from you- Self.

So, last evening came and knowing I would probably crack under my words....... I said it.....I said to Freckle Boy - "can't wait for the day when you can drive to Pet-Co and pick up cat litter".

Hugs. Laughter. He got what he wanted from me. Trust. Love. Loyalty. A mother who understands. *he is stretching his male wings

I'm cracking now....tears..... yet I feel so good.

Football Superstar and I are very lucky. While other parents of teen(s) are struggling we are not. But the struggle can rear it's ugly head at any time.

We have good kids. Not amazing. We have loving kids. Not perfect.

We are loving parents trying to be good.

We too are human beings.

And dang nabbit it's hard not to be human!

As I sit here watching my cat claw a favorite antique chair.....I have no fear she'll decrease it's value........ I smile knowing that I'm now free of fear- I am my own free agent. *note to Self....tatoo "free of fear" on left hand

Hugs, kisses, love & more hugs to all of you who have given me and my friend Self such fearless words of hope! *yes, an extra driver in the family will come in handy!

I am a very lucky woman.

Peace&Love,

Lis

Now I lay me down to sleep......

I wasn't sure if I wanted to actually post this. This part of me that still haunts me even though I commented in a recent post that I no longer have such fears. It's as if FEAR never really goes away for me.

Is it fear? Or is it worry?

I mean, when my cat claws at a favorite antique chair- do I have fear she will lesson the value?

No,that's worry. I'll probably never sell that old chippy chair anyway.

My fear is losing someone I love. My fear is losing one of my children to death. I find myself still fearing death.

I thought this vanished from my memory- that patch quilt held the fear patch and it was tucked away in a corner.

I now find myself thinking about death- again.

A few weeks ago friends lost their nephew to a car accident. "J" was only 11 years old.

A young life so full of hope. Energy. Love. Many years to live.

J.'s father and I are Godparents to his 14 year old cousin. J. was an only child.

I had no words for his parents. I had no words for his aunt whom I have known for 20 years.

My selfishness reminded me that I am so lucky. My children are all safe and sound at home.

After reading a blogger friends post last week I began to loosen my grip on death. The poem on her post was beautiful.

I watched a touching video.

I read yet another blogger friends post of a loved one who passed away after a motorcycle accident.

Each one of these post meant so much to me.

Some words made me go back to Michael's motorcycle accident.

I even commented on a blog - how we are to remember our loved ones- keep their memories alive- and be thankful to have had them in our lives, even if it was for a short time.

Now I'm thinking....who am I to even have said that?

When I think of Freckle Boy preparing for his license I do feel his excitement. I know all to well what that was like. So does my father!

When I think of China Doll preparing to drive with her brother I do feel her excitement.

I know what that was like sitting in Limo Drivers black Falcon going for Italian ice!

But then there is that BUT.....do I want Freckle Boy behind the wheel? Football Superstar is preparing himself for this as well.

Do I want China Doll in the passenger seat?

Do I want Apple Cheeks in the back seat going for ice cream?

As much as I can suck the fun out of their preparations- a drunk driver, aggressive driver or their own mistake could suck the life from them within seconds.

And this is what I hate about my fears. I'm allowing this darkness to take over my mind, body and soul. I'm allowing my need to control my children's safety to suck the life out of them.

did that make any sense?

Apple Cheeks prepares for bed. She and Piglet say their prayers before we tuck in.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep- Amen...........that's it. yes you can shake your head and tisk, tisk, tisk me I can not get myself to teach her the full prayer.

What is with that? I said it at her age. My parents never thought I would freak out over "if I should die before I wake....I pray the Lord my soul to take".

And most likely Apple Cheeks wouldn't either. Football Superstar and China Doll have both informed me that they will teach Apple Cheeks the entire prayer. is that a threat or promise? China Doll also feels I need to allow the flight wings to grow back. I have way too much fear I could bottle the stuff!

When did she grow up and get so smart?

Well, this may not have been a great read- but it is an honest one from me.

And don't worry- one of these nights Apple Cheeks will most likely be reciting her nighty-night prayer in it's entirety. That is if her big sissy and daddy get their way!

Life Lesson: Stop clipping flight wings. (well, soon)

Peace&Love,

Lis

check out, a good read

Grab a cup of coffee or tea, log onto http://55blahblah.blogspot.com

this is a very good read!

Thanks J.

Patience or Bust!

"Oh, Lord....grant me the patience......."

I would hear this line so often in my house- my Mother- my angry Mother- my frustrated Mother- my Mother who thinks she knows everything Mother.

I stole her favorite line.

Over the past few weeks while driving my precious cargo around to the pool, to summer field hockey tournaments, to visit family and friends I have been asking, well, probably screaming "Oh, Lord grant me patience!" due to reckless & aggressive drivers. Patience~ because my inner lining was beginning to boil. Can't these people see that I have my children in the car? Do they notice the speed limit is 45 and quickly jumps to 25 within a few yards? Do they not understand YIELD at the round-about? What is so important that someone feels the need to tailgate another person - go around me! I actually dream about that.

The reckless aggressive mom in her mini van who is now part of our conversation in my vehicle due to tailgating - I vision her getting even more irritated.....she's munching on M'Donalds fries....sipping coffee....cell phone in the other hand......now she's pissed and ready to pass me....as she passes there sits the township cop sitting in the parking lot of Pop's Diner looking bored til' now

he flips the lights.....he's off after the mom in the mini van......she's pulled over to the side of the road......and there I am.....passing slowly smiling from ear to ear. Oh, yeah...I wave to her..toodles!

Football Superstar tells me to pull over to the shoulder of the road and allow the aggressive driver to just pass me. if I can of course~

I tell Football Superstar that's giving in to their recklessness. And yes, I know it's for my children and my own safety.

And this is where my patience is truly tested. This is where I want to be a traffic cop- a vigilante - superwoman- no, better yet, Bewitched! This is where I could wiggle my nose or wink and the aggressive drivers car would float into the air - oh to see their faces! And I would just drive by waving......toodles!

I guess for now I must ask for patience......pratice my patience.....and pray that sooner or later this aggressive person will come to their senses. AND my soon to be 16 year old son will never meet this person(s) or become one.

As the song goes: "Slow down, you move to fast, you've got to make the morning last

Just kickin' down the cobble-stones, lookin' for fun and feelin' groovy....."

Maybe I could get this on a bumper sticker?

Peace&Love,

Lis

Thank You

Sharon owner/designer of TEA BREWS PEACE www.teabrewspeace.com
Brenda- in the Dominican Republic {an Italian friend I will one day meet at the Piazza}

Mother Teresa
Doctors Without Borders
Greg Mortenson
Bono

With Compassion

With Love

With Devotion

A Vision

A Mission

A Purpose

6 different people

6 separate parts of the globe

with 1 goal~

I want to thank you~

And to many other organizations or groups that I have not mentioned- thank you.

As our media world focuses on so much negative stories because they sell and as a society we are so interested we rarely hear the positive stories in the media of what is taking place in our world. The danger our missionaries place themselves in to feed, clothe and educate some of the poorest and violent countries. The vision of a church leader- his/her "vacation" is traveling to Cuba or India to help build a well. The financial donation(s) from the CEO of a company to the orphanage in Haiti. The Youth Group who travel over summer vacation for a moment they will never forget- craft time in a ghetto outside of Brooklyn~~ I could go on and on forever.....but I think you get my message. I'm hoping you do

Our visions and missions begin within our own 4 walls.

Peace&Love,

Lis