The Face

I finally decided to blog this evening. I've struggled on what to write exactly.....trying to keep my post short -yet interesting. As most of you know I have been experiencing a block. I find a quiet moment in my home. Grand Central Station is rarely quiet and calm. but even then my mind goes blank. Except for this one thing that continues to flow through my mind.
But, do I write about it? Shouldn't I keep writing about my journey? Shouldn't I keep my blog post following my every move......after all that is how this So I begin- began.


We have been spoiled by the warm weather over the past few weeks. But one chilly afternoon I ran to Wal-Mart for a few items. I was alone. Which that itself is unusual, perhaps I should carry my journal with me for those quiet moments! I'm waiting 2 cars back at the traffic light. One must be alert because when the light turns green here in the metro area it's like the Indianapolis 500....people race to get to the next traffic light and if you are not ready.....you will get blown over by a Lexus SUV or a Mercede's sedan. Which isn't hard for my "hippy mom's" Subaru Forester. That afternoon I didn't worry about the Lexus running me over to get to Route 28. I couldn't take my eyes off of the man who stood on the concrete island at the traffic light. His face looked tired and his clothes were soiled. He was wearing appropriate clothing for this chilly Tuesday afternoon. His recycled cardboard sign said: "HOMELESS". That was it. No "WILL WORK FOR FOOD" or "NEEDS A JOB".

I've seen faces like this over and over, a dozen times over when I worked as a case worker in the city's homeless shelter. I've watched people come and go with all kinds of "Reason #1's"
This man shouldn't affect me like I've never seen a homeless person before. After all, my most memorable client, "Ginny" the 80 year old street rat placed me in the case workers "Hall of Fame"! Joking of course....but Ginny certainly made each day either a disaster or a delight.

So why am I unable to erase this mans face away from my memory. The man who pulled up beside me on Route 7 in his sporty little BMW looked like the homeless man. The young man who bagged my groceries at Wegmans had his face! Even one night as I'm trying to watch the weather channel there he was reporting DC's forecast for the weekend!
Football Superstar listens with compassion. But he can't erase the face from my mind.

You may be wondering why I'm writing about my attempt to forget a man's face that I never met. You may be wondering why it is affecting me like it is. If you figure it out....call me because I would love to know!
All I can say is as we drive each day to our destination(s), we are absorbed. With what to order at Starbucks. We are driven my earning more money. We are obsessed with reality shows and or entertainers who are behaving badly. At work all I hear about is the Republican party candidates. Sorry...but it's like "Who's Coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs". I'm just as guilty of placing "something" in the center of my day. Chocolate comes to mind. My Subaru will blow over the Lexus for that very reason.

Was he someones father?
Was he someones husband? Or Is he?
Is he ill (mentally/physically)?
He's alone.
He's someones son.

I didn't want to think he did something such as a crime.

I've tried to place issues aside just so I can raise my children, be a wife, go to work without having some sort of "current event" tripping me. I'm always trying to get to the bottom of something. Why can't I "save" or fix it.
Subjects such as racism, teen pregnancy, suicide, child abuse, animal abuse and homelessness have been on my "To Do" list for many many years.

These past few days I've been able to do just that. I placed those topics aside. I may hear or witness a gripping story. I may be saddened by the fire that destroyed a home in DC. But with all this I still can't erase that face......the face that didn't look angry or sad. Even though he looked tired he did not appear to be anxious. He almost looked- peaceful.
Someone mentioned to me perhaps he was testing his fellow NoVa's to see who would stop.
I don't know...... Maybe I'm not to know. Maybe I'm to do.



Peace&Love

A Very Merry......Friendship(s)

This has been a very long break. Way too long. Not only due to my computer making a crash landing, but my mind did as well.
Each time I would sit down to journal there was this _______. (blank)
I could think of nothing. Those who know me would say this is a first. Me without words is like Mickey Mouse without Minnie. Like a fine wine without the richest cheese.

I've experienced this once before but this time I think my lack of words- my conversations with Him have stood still like water in a puddle. Most of the time my mind flows like a fast moving stream along the side of a meadow. I can see the water racing along the rocks and broken branches from pines. I can smell the wild flowers and grasses that grow throughout the meadow. And that is what brings the words to my mind. What happened? Why does this happen?
Why do I feel as if my compass has broken?

I'm surrounded by wonders. My husband, my children and friends. My job is secure, my future looks bright. But what makes us (me) lose focus- or direction?

The other night I opened my journal..... again.......nothing. I prayed.

This morning I decided to log onto my blog. I noticed two comments from November.
Shame on me.
And here I am......my mind racing again like the river along the meadow. My (blogging) friends who I not only appreciate but respect and admire. When I read your words- it not only gives me inspiration but I know it is reality. Your own spiritual journey. One day I hope our paths cross. And for those who I have met.....I hope to meet with you again.

What's next? For this new season......this new year that is approaching........I will stay connected. I must. This is what races through my mind. The river flows.
I want to smell the meadow.......


Happy New Year to you all.
And thanks for not giving up on my blog! : )


Peace&Love
Lis

Computer Crashing! {pout}

Hope you all are having a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Giving thanks with your family and friends.......

I'm out of the loop once again...
my computer made a crash....not a crash landing.
So until it's up and running.....or one is purchased. I will be checking in on my blogging friends wonderful stories....
but I will not be posting until I can get my computer back- I'm using my hubby's lap top now and then. : )

Love&Peace
Lis

Lessons from a Forgiving Child

She was sitting on a bench - little legs dangling. All I could see was blonde hair and a rather large ice bag covering most of her face. She knew I was approaching because a few of her classmates were reporting each step I made. As I looked down at my sweet little girls face- all I could see was dried blood and tear stained cheeks. Her mouth was swollen - almost shut.

Her eyes opened wide when she finally noticed I was there. As I hugged her, she wanted to shout out words, but the injury to her mouth was not cooperating. The important message she had was for me to understand her injury was an accident. And she forgives "B" and "E" for pushing her -which made her fall into a chair leg causing a rather large laceration on her upper left lip.

As a mommy the first thing we want to do is comfort our children. To give them all the TLC we can.

But I also felt guilt- anger- frustration and sadness.

When Apple Cheeks told me the story, she not only told her daddy and sissy, but she wanted the entire medical staff that treated her in the ER to know that she "forgives" them.

wow.

What a lesson from my forgiving 5 year old!

My baby. My youngest. My little gift of sunshine.

As I sat with Football Superstar my emotions rolled into one. What I wanted to do was to approach the school /kids/parents- to give them a small fraction of my mind. (you know all those thoughts that tend to run through our mind- well my mind)

Don't worry....I didn't do anything. But I did learn something.

I learned that if a child could sit through pain- and walk out of the ER 4 hours later {well actually get carried by daddy} and still forgive- then what was I thinking? Where was my grace? Where was my forgiveness?

6 stitches=forgiveness

Love&Peace&Forgiveness

Lis

Rule of Life

Rule of Life. I hear this come out of Olivia's mouth over and over again- Olivia as in Olivia the hyper active piglet who test her mother and Mrs. Hogenmoller {teacher} patience.

Olivia's one liner comes either at the beginning or end of each show: Rule of Life #......

One rainy morning before I bravely headed out to grocery shop, I hear those words ringing in the background.....Apple Cheeks is watching....... Rule of Life #55..... ugh!!!

As I quickly make an exit to my car I couldn't help but hear Olivia..... her irritating little squealing pig voice...... rule of life.... rule of life.... rule of life!!!!

* * * * * * * *

The week is in full tilt. Wednesday evenings Football Superstar and I go to a prayer class hosted by our church. I must say I was apprehensive in the beginning- I felt prayer was private- only for me- only between God and myself- why would I want to share my prayers with others(?). complete strangers?

I'm learning there are a bazillion sorry ways to pray. I won't get in to the why's, how's, when and should we pray...... but something hit me this past Wednesday as I admitted to Esther our instructor/prayer leader that I did not do my homework! As we begin session #3- Model for Prayer- part 2, I'm listening to Esther yet I hear Olivia in the background. Yes, the pig.

Rules. Rules to live by. Ruling. Our Ruler.

To declare who God is. Jehovah-Rohi. Jehovah-Shalom. Jehovah-Shammah.

We are told to think on the implications of these names and you'll have plenty to praise God for! and there are more

I lived under certain "rules of life" for a very long time in my early Christian years. As a Roman Catholic I thought only our patron saints- the holy saints could pray successfully. Our rulers in the church had the monopoly on praying.

Rulers. Rule of Life.

God talked with man. I can talk with God.

God was in the garden with man. God is everywhere with me.

So why wouldn't we be able to talk with God? Anytime- anywhere?

To be real. To be ourselves. He already knows us.... so why not be revealing-- honest.

Prayer has some true power. I've learned recently

The Incredible POWER of Prayer.

"Prayer changes things....... and US!"

Ronald Dunn

Rule of Life #1. pray

Meet Megan

Today I wanted to play catch up on here. I wanted to grab my journal and tell the world about my wonderful news. the position I've been waiting for!

As I was checking my facebook status last evening I noticed a message on my wall from a high school classmate- Megan Pierce-Sheibner. It sparked my interest because of the message she posted- along with the youtube video. Again...my excitement was difficult to cap.... but I watched the video.

Megan and I were in a few classes together- not many. Geez, I'm getting too old to really remember who was in my high school class! We were in band front marching in skimpy Trojan attire with Peter Pan hats. We did our routine with fake ridiculous swords. As any Trojan would. Sorry Megan!

Sadly, I never really knew Megan.

Graduation- lives go in different directions. Years pass.

Then facebook comes into the lives of many. We are friends again. Thanks to facebook.

Megan is probably the only Boston Red Sox fan that I like.

Megan- this woman who I now know as a christian, wife, mother, educator, friend of many.

I felt my world stop while watching the video she posted on my wall.

That is Megan's husband! This was their life!

Tears. Sadness. Selfish relief.

I wanted to reach out through my computer and embrace Megan and Steve.

I learned a lesson while listening and watching their video.

This morning I had Football Superstar watch. He had no words. I could see emotion in his eyes. How fortunate we are each day. Each moment of our life is a gift from God.

Our God is so amazing. And God's purpose. What about that?

Thank you Megan for sharing your story...... for bringing your family into my home. Into our lives.

PS.....this does not change my mind how I feel about the Red Sox! giggling.

Peace&Love

I would like to encourage everyone to link onto http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLj4akmncsA&feature=share

Steve and Megan Scheibner Characterhealth.com

ReGifted

Have I ever regifted? yes

Much thought goes into purchasing gifts. No matter the occasion.... the gift can be a difficult decision. Depends on the person and the occasion.... my passion or thought process usually determines who gets what. Or what gets who. Oh, I've given Regift some passionate thought!

Does God ReGift?

I have been under a pressure cooker with my job. I'm about to explode....but there are these gentle- yet firm hands on my shoulders telling me to stay calm...don't go back there....be the leader....do not put these issues on your priority list....who gets what gift is on his priority list -> His method of keeping me focused<

My gift from God is always a regifted one. He gives me what I need every day of the week.

And my thankless days are building. I know it. I see it. And I feel it. But I lack the discipline that I need to thank Him daily.....giving back the gift.

Just when I think I have it in me to not stumble and fall..... I do. Just when I think I'm willing and able to walk away from temptation....I can't. People will drag and pull you into the vortex and without a safety harness it's almost impossible to free yourself.

I'm tempted by idol chatter in the work place. I find myself wanting to "correct" these women who are chattering.... then I find myself listening....falling. I am angered by feeling "taken advantage of". At times I listen and watch as if I'm an innocent child being given a gift beyond gifts. And I know better than this! I hear this voice talk to me every time these "events" take place. I know not to listen or to respond. And if I do the voice immediately shouts "why"!

I've tried to regift what God has given me to my coworkers. Gently. Unannounced. Are they accepting the gift? No...and that is okay. But I know they see me pulling away. They can not place their red ink pens on what is happening with this teacher who smiles and places herself in the back row, not the jury nor the judge.

Regifting at the work place is very hard to do...it's a challenge. But I'm called to do so.

For the time I remain at the academy I will place passionate thought behind each and every gift I hand out. Prayers...this will be very hard.

The Gift of Grace.

Peace&Love